By the psychological counsellor Siham Salih. The family is one of the most important factors in upbringing and social formation, for it is what shapes the individual's character and determines his behaviour and principles, and it contributes greatly to the child's social growth and to social culture. The family has a very important social and psychological function, for it is the child's first social school and it contributes to satisfying the child's psychological wishes and to sound psychological development. The first years of a child's life are what shape his psychological being and sound psychological adjustment. But if the child is exposed to painful experiences or shocking events, this affects the child's outlook on the future, his ability to bear life's problems and his capacity to solve them, and these experiences may lead to a negative effect on the child's character, making him liable to psychological illnesses and various complexes. Among the most important factors affecting a child psychologically are: the relationship between the parents, for if this relationship is bad and not marked by love, it leads to the family's breakdown, which creates an unhealthy atmosphere leading the child to grow up in an unsound psychological way. Disputes between the parents, constant tension and a lack of understanding between them spread disturbance in the family atmosphere, which leads to patterns of unsound behaviour in the child such as jealousy, selfishness, a love of quarrelling, emotional instability, a lack of respect for others and a failure to cooperate with others. Psychological problems in the parents and deviant behaviour lead to instability in the family atmosphere and affect the child's psychological health, leading him to feel depression, anxiety and psychological disturbances. Favouring one child over another, or the male over the female, creates an atmosphere of tension among children and unconstructive competition. Among the most important psychological pressures on a child is neglect and the failure to satisfy his needs for security, stability, love and acceptance, or for play and pursuing various hobbies. Divorce and separation are among the causes of a family's collapse and affect the child through the loss of one of the parents, his feeling of inadequacy compared with his peers, fear of the future and the absence of a model to follow in his behaviour. Rejection, neglect or a lack of care lead the child to feel insecure and lonely, or to feel hostile and rebellious, and also to be unable to exchange feelings and deal with others, and to be irritable. A method of upbringing marked by domination leads the child to feel submission and subjugation, or rebellion, a lack of a sense of competence, inadequacy and a negative dependence on others. Imposing rigid systems, or an upbringing not marked by flexibility but by criticism, forms a psychological burden on the child. Poverty is one of the important factors affecting the whole family including the child, for it leads to a fear of the future and to the non-satisfaction of wishes to buy certain things such as toys and new clothes that raise children's spirits and make them feel happy, or the kinds of food he needs, such as sweets and the like, which also bring happiness to children. A cramped home and the crowding of the family's members into a single room, particularly a large family of more than five people, lead the child to tension, emotional instability and a feeling of instability and lack of privacy, since there is no place of his own, a room of his own for instance, or a bed or a desk, and the lack of a sense of privacy leads to feeling depressed and to an aversion to the place. Neglect in health care and the failure to treat the child promptly for any illness he is exposed to, since any physical illness forms a psychological burden on the child. Therefore, dear mother, you must always do the following to make your child feel safe and to reduce the pressures on him: You must follow a flexible approach in dealing with your child and accustom him to expressing his feelings and emotions and telling you what is going on inside him, and do not use with him an approach of compulsion or coercion over what he does not want to do. You must take care that the child does not know of your disputes with your husband and that you do not quarrel in front of the children. You must not differentiate between your children in how you treat them; treat them equally in everything. Always give your child tenderness and try to meet his material, moral and health needs, and always show him affection and your appreciation of him when he does something positive. If you are suffering from a weak economic situation, you must use alternatives with the children as far as you can so that they feel your care for them.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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