Sexual harassment of children

Prepared by the psychological counsellor Haniya Baalousha. Sexual harassment: sexual harassment is one of the most serious problems children face in this age, and it is broader than the concept of sexual exploitation. Sexual exploitation is sexual contact between a child and an adult in order to satisfy sexual desires in the other, using force and control over the child, while sexual harassment is broader than the concept of sexual exploitation or physical rape. Among the forms of sexual harassment are the following: • Exposing the genitals. • Removing the child's clothes. • Touching or particular physical fondling. • Spying on a child. • Exposing him to indecent images or films. • Disgraceful, immoral acts such as forcing him to utter indecent words. • Rape. The physical and psychological forms of sexual harassment are too many to list in this article, but we will try to summarise such forms quickly so that we may see at close hand the extent of the destruction this harassment causes to the child's soul before his body. The physical symptoms, which are the least destructive and the quickest to heal, include the infections arising from the assault which are not treated at the right time because of the fear and shame that increase the child's suffering, not to mention the intestinal disorders that affect him, as well as the infections that arise in the reproductive organs and the bleeding that may occur in the areas subjected to assault. As for the more serious psychological effects, psychologists summarise them in points, the most important of them the feeling of guilt that takes hold of the child and his blaming himself for not resisting. Strangely, society contributes to rooting and confirming such a feeling through its view of what happened to the assaulted child as a scandal for which he is responsible, not to mention the family's reproach of him when it is supposed to be his source of safety, and its demand that he keep silent, particularly if the perpetrator is a family member. All this makes the child lose trust in himself, in his family and in society in general, which has not done him justice although he is the wronged and the assaulted. Childhood is one of the early stages of a person's psychological development, and any disturbance in it such as this situation increases the possibility of this child being exposed to various kinds of psychological illness, and the child may follow the same behaviour as the perpetrator by assaulting others as a kind of revenge. The child must understand and be told: your body is something that belongs to you, particularly the parts covered by underwear, whether you are a boy or a girl. If someone asks you or tricks you into agreeing to let him touch, see or photograph these parts of your body, then he is sexually assaulting you. And if someone asks you to touch or see these parts or images of them, this also means that he is sexually assaulting you. But sometimes your doctor needs to touch your private parts for the purpose of a medical examination, and this is not considered sexual assault. And when small children need bathing and cleaning and cannot do this themselves, these kinds of touches are not considered sexual assault, since these touches do not make the child afraid or uncomfortable. Below are the reasons for the spread of sexual harassment: • A lack of the sexual awareness that must be provided to children at the various ages. • Parents' silence about this aspect. • The curiosity that characterises children, which drives them to engage in such behaviour. • The economic factor, which drives families to have their members sleep in a single room. In fact sexual education must begin in the family in a way suited to children's ages, and this education should be completed at school by teaching this subject scientifically and by distributing booklets to fathers and mothers to make children aware and make them understand that such behaviour is rejected religiously, socially and morally. We must reassure readers that the solution is not impossible and that treatment is within reach, for many of those who have been exposed to various assaults have rid themselves of those conflicts and that suffering, have led their lives normally, some of them have married and had children, and they have had no further deviation, and that is through treatment, determination, the family not being ashamed, and psychological containment at the right time. Recommendations: • Making children aware from an early age, clearly and away from vulgarity. • That the awareness be according to the child's age and be very simple with the young and with more explanation with the older. • Not allowing children to sleep in one bed. • They should be watched while playing, particularly when they are alone together, for they may do things based on imitating adults and in innocence. • Children should not be allowed to play with adults and adolescents, lest what is forbidden occur through exploitation, assault and deviation, and that is the greatest calamity. • Parents should take great care and caution while having sexual relations between themselves and should control every situation that allows their children to spy or hear them, because children's curiosity in this regard is very strong. • Avoiding talk or anything sexually arousing of whatever kind. • Some mothers play with their child by fondling his genitals when he is small in order to make him laugh, their purpose being amusement, and they do not know that this fondling will bring him problems later. • To encourage the child to speak out and disclose any sexual harassment that happens to him, the parents should surround the child with tenderness and love and plant trust between themselves and their children. Psychological studies confirm that the slightest sexual harassment of a child creates for him a lasting psychological injury throughout his life, yet most people do not know what happens to their children, not necessarily out of negligence on their part but because the child may not be open with anyone about what happened: he may be afraid or feel guilty, for he does not know that he is innocent and that he is a victim. The male child may identify with the perpetrator and take his path towards deviation, not to mention the states of fear and anxiety that accompany him throughout his life. As for the female, what most affects her life as a result of this is her fear of men in general, dread without clear cause, fear of the future, fear of the intimate emotional relationship in marriage, and fear of her sensitive areas being touched, because that stirs her old, dormant fears. A woman may also develop a sexual deviation, perhaps indirectly, so that she hates men and inclines towards her own sex when she feels safe. And many relationships in marriage are destroyed because of sexual harassment of a woman when she was a child, even if it was merely a hurtful touch of her clothes, for the whole situation creates a fracture inside her.