My daughter never stops asking questions
By the specialist Saed Al-Sarsawi
Upbringing requires a great deal of attention from us; through upbringing we make the generation of tomorrow, and what a heavy responsibility it is to have a part in making a human being, for our fingerprints to remain clear on their personality, growing with them and developing until they accompany them through life and have an effect on their confidence, their state of mind and their start in the future.
The first years of a child's life are very important, contrary to what some believe, and have the greatest effect in forming their personality in the future. Your child seems emotional, and this means they need more attention from you, so that you can train them to handle their emotions intelligently, without suppressing them or being ashamed of them.
As soon as a child learns to speak, they begin to put questions to their parents or those around them. These are questions mostly directed at satisfying the curiosity rooted in them, but later, as they continue to grow, other motives besides curiosity drive them to ask: they may ask in order to have relationships with others, to draw attention to themselves, to gain reassurance, to practise speaking, or to annoy certain people, since many questions bother them and the child wants that as an expression of resentment, frustration or dislike.
It is best to answer children's questions even if we sense that they spring from a motive other than curiosity or a love of knowledge, because failing to answer a child, or scolding them whenever they ask a question, makes them draw back from ever asking, and we deprive them of an important means of learning. The questioning age begins at around three and reaches its peak at around six. Questions make up a large proportion of what a child says, and psychologists consider that a child's questions range from 20% to 25% of the average of what they utter.
Nor should we forget that when God created Adam, peace be upon him, He taught him the names, for Adam represents humanity in its first, childlike stage. Most of the questions a child asks up to about the age of twelve, around 85% of them, relate to present situations rather than to past situations from memory. Boys like to ask for causal explanations, while girls tend towards questions whose content concerns social relationships.
Every type of question has its part in forming the child's concepts, and the answers should match the child's understanding. If a four-year-old asks, for example, what a year means, they should not be told it is 365 days; it is better to define a year as a long time, or as the time between your next birthday and your last one. Nor should the child be told the whole truth: if they ask the famous question of where babies come from, it is best to tell them from mummy's tummy, an answer that suffices for a three-year-old, and if they are five we tell them from the mother and father together.
Some children ask questions that truly have emotional causes, about death, illness and other children, while others ask out of a wish for knowledge or a bent for curiosity. When a child repeats their questions, it means that the answers given were not enough and did not satisfy their curiosity, or that there is something troubling or frightening them or making them go on asking. Once we are sure of their motives, they should be reassured and answered in a way that lessens their fears and lifts their anxiety.




