Family violence

By the counsellor Siham Salih. The concept of family violence: it is difficult to define the concept of family violence precisely, but it can be said that it is violence directed at one or more members of the same family. It is one of the forms of aggressive behaviour and of the deliberate exercise of force or coercion against another, resulting in unequal power relations within the family circle. Family violence is considered a strange and new phenomenon in our Arab societies that has knocked hard at our doors recently. Humanity rejects no behaviour as it rejects violence in all its images and forms, particularly that which befalls the child and the woman, since the rejection here is innate and instinctive and not merely legal, because the perpetrator does not so much transgress a legal text as strike at humanity itself in the depths of its conscience. Violence against women is behaviour directed at a woman, whether as wife, mother, sister or daughter, marked by varying degrees of discrimination, oppression, subjugation and aggression, arising from unequal power relations between men and women in society and in the family alike, as a result of the dominance of the patriarchal system with its economic, social and cultural mechanisms. Despite the changes that have come over women's conditions in modern society, the nature of the relationship governing women with men within the family is still governed by the remnants of relations of bondage that were established historically with the emergence of private property and the dominance of a male civilisation under the rule of the patriarchal system, which gave absolute authority to men and imposed submission on women by force. Women are indeed wronged, for they suffer continuous oppression that begins in their own home and moves, more violently, to their husband's home. And women usually bear all the burdens that fall upon them. I note here that society has played a principal role in aggravating this crime, since the background a man grows up with is that beating his wife is a lawful right of his, and that one of the methods of discipline gives him absolute freedom to practise violence. In addition, customs and traditions are principal incentives for violence, since the prevailing culture requires women to endure, and this is what has made women keep silent and refrain from reporting. In addition there is the absence of support from the official bodies, which in most cases stand on the man's side, whether in the courts or at police stations. Specialists also confirm that the number of women subjected to violence is rising, where reports issued by Amnesty International have stated that there are a billion women in the world subjected to violence in its various forms, equivalent to a third of the world's women. And since Saudi Arabia is part of this world, the indicators of violations against women have appeared in a tangible way, and so the state, represented by the Ministry of Social Affairs, has established what is called the family protection department, and the Nahda Centre for Social Services is currently conducting an official study on violence against Saudi women. The women's committee at the Nahda Women's Association has prepared a house dedicated to protecting women and children from family violence, but its means remain limited given the limited resources available. The statistics indicate that the house received 152 cases up to last year. The Human Rights Association was also recently established and has received, from the start of its work until the present period, more than 1,164 cases relating to family violence. Forms of family violence: 1. Physical. 2. Psychological. 3. Social. 4. Sexual. 5. Educational and academic. 1. Physical violence: this is the most severe, and its forms include beating, pulling the hair, slapping, gripping violently, punching, strangling, burning and corporal punishment. 2. Social violence: it consists in imposing a social blockade on a woman or limiting her involvement in society, not allowing her to take her own decisions, forcing her to work at something she does not like or preventing her from working at all, forcing her to give up her rights in inheritance or seizing her salary; or by depriving a child of contact with a member of his family or his companions; or it may be by damaging others' property or destroying public facilities. 3. Psychological violence: it consists in foul, wounding and improper words and expressions, such as accusations of wrongdoing, intimidation, neglect, a lack of self-esteem, constant threats of divorce and of being deprived of the children or the reverse, and deprivation of tenderness and a lack of acceptance. 4. Sexual violence: it is enticement by force and threat either to achieve sexual contact or to use the sexual sphere to cause harm, such as harassment and desertion by the husband. Among the forms of sexual violence is the use of sexual expressions or touching with the intention of sexual gratification. Causes of family violence: a. Causes relating to the child's character: • A growing feeling of frustration. • Weak self-confidence. • The nature of the stage of puberty and adolescence. • Emotional and psychological disturbance and a weak response to values and standards. • The adolescent's rebellion against the nature of his life in the family and at school. • An inability to face problems. • The non-satisfaction of the actual needs of the child and the adolescent. b. Causes relating to the family: • Family breakdown. • Excessive pampering by the parents or excessive harshness. • The family's failure to follow up the children. • Economic pressures. c. Causes relating to companions: • Bad company. • A tendency to dominate others. • A feeling of failure to keep up with companions and of rejection by them. • Repeated truancy from school. d. Causes relating to teachers: • The absence of a good example. • A lack of interest in pupils' problems. • The absence of guidance and counselling by teachers. • Weak confidence in teachers. • Teachers' practice of blaming. e. Causes relating to the school: • Weak school regulations. • Insufficient school activities. • Increased class sizes. f. Causes relating to society: • The spread of behaviours of indifference towards society. • The existence of a great deal of free time and the failure to use it positively. • Weak social control. • Weak community legislation and laws. • The spread of violent films. There is also a set of causes that together have led to the appearance of violence, namely: The phenomenon of urban growth, which has reached such an extent that it has robbed people of their sense of their own individuality and made them feel defenceless, so that they do not feel secure. Urban life has also weakened the family's role, for the absorption of the attention of the family's heads by urban preoccupations has made them unable to exercise authority. The crowding of the city with buildings alike in shape and size, the concentration of the population in uniform properties and the lack of green spaces all create for people a stifling atmosphere in which it is easy for violence to be produced. Also the spread of alcohol and drug use among the members of society and a weak religious sense. Social and psychological researchers agree that there are interlinked factors accounting for family violence towards the child, such as the large number of family members, the low legal status of women and children, political factors and the media. The effects of family violence: 1. Psychological disturbances and a lack of a sense of security. 2. A feeling of humiliation, helplessness and frustration. 3. Withdrawal and dependency. 4. A loss of self-confidence. 5. Family breakdown and rupture. 6. Juvenile delinquency. 7. Leaving school early. 8. The absence of correct upbringing and balanced formation. 9. An increase in the rate of crime and in social instability. Islam's view of family violence: whoever looks into the Qur'an and the noble hadiths finds that the system of Islam, with its rulings, principles and rules, has required Muslims in general, and the members of a single family, the husband, the wife and the children, to base their relations with one another on affection and mercy. God Almighty said: "And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought." In the Qur'an there are many verses requiring Muslims to be good to parents, children, relatives and other members of society, and in the prophetic guidance there is an affirmation of these gracious principles. He, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "Teach and do not be harsh", and said: "Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy." He mentioned everything relating to raising children and the obligation to be good to them and to be just among them in every matter, and made discipline subject to its own principles and understanding within the rulings of sharia. He was the good example, embracing children, kissing them and playing with them, and telling his companions of his love for Fatima and his grandchildren. A husband must deal with his wife in kindness and live with her in a good way, and each of the husband and wife was given rights and duties that must be observed, which leads to the family's flourishing and its feeling of happiness. Family life in Islam's view is disciplined and not chaotic; rather it rests on the rulings of sharia and is bound to faith and inseparable from it, with freedom for each member within the scope of what God has ordained. Any failing, and particularly causing harm, damage and violence to others, is a transgression against the right of God Almighty and then a transgression against the rights of others. "And whoever does good and reforms, for him is a great reward." The Qur'an's response to the exploitation of women and their exposure to violence in all its forms: 1. In not degrading her: "And when the girl buried alive is asked, for what sin she was killed." 2. In giving her her dignity: "And when one of them is informed of the birth of a female, his face becomes dark and he suppresses grief... (up to His words) unquestionably, evil is what they decide." 3. In consuming her inheritance: "It is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion." 4. In consuming her dowry: "And it is not lawful for you to take anything of what you have given them." 5. In consuming her rights: "Lodge them where you dwell out of your means, and do not harm them in order to oppress them." 6. In the sexual exploitation of women: "And do not compel your slave girls to prostitution." 7. In sexual violence in its forms: "And they ask you about menstruation. Say, it is harm, so keep away from wives during menstruation and do not approach them until they are pure. And when they have purified themselves, then come to them from where God has ordained for you." 8. In the accusation of women: "Indeed, those who accuse chaste, unaware and believing women are cursed in this world and the hereafter, and they will have a great punishment." 9. In good treatment: "And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy." 10. In respect and the avoidance of harm: "And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them, perhaps you dislike a thing and God makes therein much good." 11. In preserving kindness and affection: "And do not forget graciousness between you." 12. In not causing harm through divorce: "Divorce is twice; then either keep her in an acceptable manner or release her with good treatment." 13. In not causing damage: "And do not keep them, intending harm, to transgress. And whoever does that has certainly wronged himself." 14. In the wife's right to her home and her maintenance: "O Prophet, when you divorce women, divorce them for their waiting period and keep count of the waiting period, and fear God your Lord. Do not turn them out of their houses, nor should they leave..." to the end of the verse. 15. In maintenance and care: "Mothers may nurse their children two complete years for whoever wishes to complete the nursing period, and upon..." to the end of the verse.